We are working on producing redundancies for all of our E-mail Newsletters, Facebook posted content, and exclusive website information. So, stay tuned as we iron out the rough and get back fairway, land on the green: then hole in one.
For the time being, we’ll be posting e-mail newsletter content both here (this page), and via our e-mail newsletter (subscribe by clicking the “Contact” page: we try and only send out one message per week at most, as to not spam you with updates, for interested readers.
As of now, posting are in chronological order (i.e., scroll down for previous postings.). We’ll make it better.
Thursday, Jul. 25, 2024:
Weekly Greens:
Hello all,
Apologies for the later than hoped for e-mail update and limited stock, but we’re planning to be at the Westcliffe Farmers Market FRIDAY (9-1), will have online stock posted (and may harvest some more, based on demand) after the market at our website store (no later than 3 PM, Fri, online) for pre-order and pick-up on Sun/Mon (11-1). Plus, pending stock and logistics, we are hoping to again have a few greens available at the Courtyard Country Inn on Saturday (starting around 10AM) with some of our fellow local food producers!
More info below for the interested subscriber, and we’ll post online via our Facebook page and Website ASAP once We confirm our supply. That said:
Stock this Week:
- Lettuce
- Mix (at the market[s] and possibly more will be made if there is demand via online orders)
- Beet Greens (similarly, at the market[s], and more will be harvested on-demand for online orders).
- Purple kale (very limited)
- Hopefully ASAP for ordering online: Freeze-Dried Greens Powder; nearly ready.
Contact us for ordering details!
Farm News & Updates
Hello long-form readers!
First, thanks to all who stopped by our spot with Jamber Acres (a nearby local farm), with space generously hosted by the Courtyard Country Inn last Saturday (right on Main St. in Westcliffe). We’re hoping to make this a regular, additional outlet for our greens, as long we as have the supply! More details soon. It was a lot of fun, and great folks hosting and selling local produce alongside us.
And, before we make pseudo-jokes, sincerely: thanks for your support.
Unfortunately our year of 2024 has disappointed our Upper Management regarding the efficiency of our planned Company expansion plan, as a result of a myriad of things. For instance:
Good news/Bad News:
Bad first: Unfortunately we are still behind schedule on some harvesting and planting and expansion plans, in small part most recently, because of our primary vehicle. We were advised by people who know more about vehicles than our entire LLC staff does (unfortunately, we have not yet established a Vehicle Dept.) that power steering fluid can blast one in the face at 1K PSI, and/or pose a fire hazard.
Additionally, a loaner vehicle, under the operation of our LLC’s Boss, driving at precisely the speed limit, and gradually, in a linear fashion, reducing speed out of deference to the posted limit around a blind corner; and also as to ensure not hitting any non-motor vehicle (AKA single and/or multi-horse powered non-motor means of transportation from our community friends, whom we like, and don’t want to hit with a motor vehicle around blind corners):
We are both dismayed, yet proud to announce, that:
1) An official Award from our Awards Dept. may be Awarded to the tailgating truck 5ft. behind us, for miles. However, we will give the benefit of the doubt, and temporarily not grant said possible future award.
2) An official Award, to a doe, a dear, a female deer, whom, (despite perhaps poor judgement), decided to dart with a velocity similar to the speed limit for motor vehicles across a highway. Subsequently, after extremely low latency reaction time, in an effort to both avoid a second vehicular problem on a loaner vehicle from a “tailgater” truck, and also save a doe, our Rapid Response Team went into effect successfully. However, a second doe also decided to perform an amazing Olympic-worthy double and/or triple axle, plus landing, (even despite ice skates, ice, or a Zamboni; simply hoofs) upon our loaner vehicle. And then walking off easy with her doe friend. That’s called Grace; you either got it, or you don’t. And that doe did.
As We, at Westcliffe Greens LLC, care about animals, we investigated the scene thoroughly to ensure no suffering (aside from a vehicle, but it has no nociceptors, nor sentience, so no big deal). And following Our thorough investigation into the woods, to ensure the does’ comfort and/or any possible discomfort, (long after the “tailgater” drive-by), we were able to leave the scene with high confidence.
Thus, despite the multi-vehicle setback, We, at Westlciffe Greens LLC, are officially awarding the second doe, a “Gold Star Olympian Mule Jewel Award.” Congratulations, doe.
To summarize, apologies for the potentially lower than hoped for stock at the market. But, we will have some as a result of our:
Good News:
Our expert Problem Solving Department has completed the necessary repairs on a vehicle, as of hours ago, to allow us to arrive at the Westcliffe Farmers Market. With greens in tow.
More updates on actual useful farm news later.
Thank you (except for the “tailgater” person and/or cyborg and/or droid and/or other entity).
Sincerely,
-Chris, Head of Upper Management at Westcliffe Greens LLC
More coming
Sunday, Jun 29, 2024:
Weekend Greens:
Hello all,
Despite the delay on the relay of our newsletter via our own server, we’re working to improve it! And, we still have items to order; perhaps even a few that are listed as “out of stock” just for for our online readers, but just ask if you stop by for a pick-up. In any case, here’s our latest newsletter. We’ll be updating our efficiency ASAP to correct for the for the massive latency.
——- Jun 29. Newsletter ——-
Apologies for the way off-schedule announcement of our products and order system this week. We’re working fast; the Upper Management has begun training new, custom Departments we’ve hired to boost our multi-tasks and efficiency.
But for now we’ll keep it brief:
All orders from our website store are good to go (see westcliffegreens.com), for direct far pickup this week (Sun/Mon, 11-1; we may expand pick-up times in the future, and will announce if so). Details below.
Reminder: Current information is listed our e-mail newsletter (and will be duplicated, as it is currently + more content on our new website link “E-mail Newsletter Updates!” as soon as possible. Interested readers, feel free to scroll down to the “Farm Updates” section below, as always.
——–
Available Now at our website store:
Lettuce
-Mix [currently a new batch is [just now done] being harvested; the number for single and double size bags will, if anything, stay stable or go up. Although we can’t guarantee, we may be able to harvest a few extra argulua, tatsoi, or lettuce if you have already placed an order; just ask on Monday when you wing by for pick-up!
Bok Choi [Big ones; the last ones for a few weeks; will harvest on demand]
Tatsoi (will harvest on demand)
Mizuna (limited, harvested an hour ago)
Arugula (limited; will harvest on demand)
Back soon:
-Microgreens
-Freeze Dried Greens Powder
Thanks all. Hope to see you Sun/Mon (see below for our simple pick-up protocol).
DIRECT FARM PICK-UP ORDERING [See the bottom of this e-mail/post, or the next few lines, or our website, for our simple pickup-protocol]
You can always read the big red alert symbol on the “Shop” page for real-time updates; or at least as fast as our Company can multi-task:
Order online any time. Pickup-Times:
SUNDAY, 11 AM – 1 PM
MONDAY, 11 AM – 1 PM
*If possible, indicating your anticipated pick-up day in the order notes box on the checkout page of our website is helpful for us.
—–
Pick-Up Location:
[MESSAGE US; right in town in Westcliffe]
-Westcliffe Greens LLC
Farm News & Updates
| Quick updates: 1) Our LLC Boss was in fact, the official, Elementary-School-Wide, speed typing Champion in 4th grade: Even beat the 5th graders with a unique custom keyboard manipulation methodology. Hence, quick update: 2) Working on microgreens, freeze dried greens, more seeds, and growing greens. And multitasking another million things. 3) Exciting projects (in Our opinion) are in the works. Stay tuned if interested. 4) Stay safe if you’re near the fire. In all sincerity, we’re giving our best wishes to everyone near the area. 5) Fresh harvested lettuce need [and now has had] our Labor Team’s attention now [then, i.e., earlier today], so all stock online is up to date, and will only maintain constancy, or increase, in stock values [pending a disaster, of course]. Thanks all, -Westcliffe Greens LLC facebook.com/wcgreens More coming PS: Transparency Commitment Mandate at Westcliffe Greens LLC: The posted photo’s were taken on June 28, not June 29 or June 30. |
| Additional Online Ordering Info To use our online ordering system, simply go to our online store (or head to westcliffegreens.com and click “Shop”), and you can see what we have available. Then, after placing an order, just stop by our location at any of the listed pick-up times (see above), and we’ll come out to bring your order. Even if you don’t see anyone else outside, we’ll see you– so don’t hesitate to just pull up. Think: Curb-side service. As you’ll see at the checkout page, you’re welcome to either pre-pay via card or other method (e.g., Apple Pay), or select the “Cash at Pickup” option to pay with cash/check/etc. when you arrive. E-mail us with any questions (chris@westcliffegreens.com)! |
Thursday, Jun 20, 2024:
Weekly Greens:
Hi all,
And welcome new subscribers! We’ll briefly re-iterate a few updates from last week:
We’ll be at the Westcliffe Farmers Market (9 AM – 1 PM) tomorrow (Fri.). Then, our website store, (at westcliffegreens.com), will have more for direct farm pickup (posting of stock should be near 2/3PM). Details below
Reminder: Current information is listed in this e-mail (and will be duplicated + more content on our new website link “E-mail Newsletter Updates!” as soon as possible (on the main menu at the top of our website) Working out bugs, apologies for any errors. For the interested reader, see “Farm Updates” below.
WESTCLIFFE FARMERS MARKET (9 AM – 1 PM):
- Lettuce
- Mix,
- Heads: Green Romaine; Green Leaf; Red Oakleaf)
- Bok Choi
- Mizuna [limited]
- Purple Mustard Greens (limited)
- Arugula (limited)
- Microgreens (broccoli; limited)
- Freeze dried greens powder (back soon)
Thanks for the support,
-Westcliffe Greens LLC
DIRECT FARM PICK-UP ORDERING [STOCK POSTED ~3PM, FRIDAY: Ccontact us for our simple pickup-protocol].
You can always read the big red alert symbol on the “Shop” page for real-time updates; or at least as fast as our Company can multi-task:
- SUNDAY, 11 AM – 1 PM
- MONDAY, 11 AM – 1 PM
*If possible, indicating your anticipated pick-up day in the order notes box on the checkout page of our website is helpful for us.
Pick-Up Location: Contact us for more info (right in town).
Farm News & Updates
More content coming to our website soon
All original, hopefully valuable information, free from Westcliffe Greens LLC.
Quick updates:
1) Thursday is the beginning of “harvest day” for the Westcliffe Farmers Market (9 AM – 1 PM). We try and keep everything as fresh as possible to sale. Additional stock posted online at ~3PM Fri. More will be harvested on demand during the weekend, pending online orders.
2) We’re working on our expansion project, slowly but surely, alongside many other tasks. With some luck, we’ll have more greens after a Labor Team blast in the coming weeks.
3) Keeping it short and sweet this week. Hope to see you all at the market or farm!
Thanks all,
-Westcliffe Greens LLC
Sunday, Jun 16, 2024:
Sunday Pick-Up [Technically, this is a a Facebook post, not an e-mail newsletter post, but we’ve deemed it important enough to post, despite the inaccuracy]:
Our sincere apologies for any missed pick-ups today; we believe we’ve reached out to everyone who we may have missed around 11.
Transparency Commitment at Westcliffe Greens LLC:
Despite the libelous, false, and fraudulent claim by a prior commenter on a post a couple days ago regarding “user” vs. “technological” failures on our old phone. In this case, We concede: There is the possibility, (though we reserve the right to retract, remix, resell, or otherwise modify and/or delete this statement): Our 11:30 AM missed pick-ups MAY have been due to user error. Specifically, regarding sleep and alarms.
Legal Team NOTE: Westcliffe Greens LLC admits nor conceded any error, liability, or any other thing we want, and is simply providing a hypothesis.
BUT! (And we’ think we’ve reached out to all of the [potentially] few affected customers): We’ll be around both today (send an e-mail to confirm if you would like to swing by), and tomorrow (Mon. 11-1).
And we’ll also provide some marginally improved jokes that you may have already received if you were one of the few unlucky customers:
If you are/were one of the (un)lucky few, and swung by today to pick up your greens order (in the 11:00 AM – 11:30 AM era), We are very very sorry if We missed you.
Apparently Our redundant attempts to ensure World Class Customer Service were not redundant enough. This is being fixed, post haste, similar to the haste of this post. We apologize for the lack of even Home Owners Association Class Customer Service. Terrible. We’re very sorry.
BUT! We’ll be here (probably most of the day). Or you can swing by tomorrow (11 AM – 1 PM; redundancies will be installed by then). Note the redundancies already built into this post, all done with haste.
Just give Us a heads up if today works best, so We don’t “Fool Us twice: greater shame on Us.” Our Company’s Flagellant Whip is already ordered, so have no fear. In the mean time, we will adjust one of our many amazing custom pieces of technology. 95 volts is clearly insufficient for our EEG [electroencephalogram] redundancy alarm clock.
(FYI: If you happen to find yourself in our greenhouse and note the item pictured below: don’t turn the knob or hit a lever if you are not very familiar with such things. And still don’t. OR: if you wish to perform [correction: ATTEMPT AND FAIL, MOST LIKELY] a “B&E,” [Breaking & Entering crime] please DO turn the knob and hit all the buttons, levers, and switches. 
-Chris, Member and Repenter of Westcliffe Greens LLC
Sorry again if we missed you, we’ll get you covered.
Thurs., Jun 13, 2024:
Weekly Greens:
Hi all,After some setbacks, we’re getting back on track. Westcliffe Farmers Market (9 AM – 1 PM) tomorrow (Fri.): we’ll be there.
Then, our website store, (at westcliffegreens.com), will have more for direct farm pickup (posting of stock should be near 3PM). Please bear with us as we update the millions of menus about dates/times/receipts/formatting/back-end server stuff/etc. Current information is listed in this e-mail (and will be duplicated + more content on our new website link “E-mail Newsletter Updates!” (on the main menu at the top of the screen…we’ll check the mobile version, but at least it shows up on a computer!).
Working out bugs, apologies for any errors. For the interested reader, see “Farm Updates” below.
WESTCLIFFE FARMERS MARKET (9 AM – 1 PM):
Lettuce
Mix, Heads: Romaine; Green Leaf; Red Oakleaf)
Mizuna
Bok Choi (semi-limited)
Purple Mustard Greens (limited)
Arugula (limited)
Microgreens (at least a decent batch for the Market, and likely more for online order, given grow time).
Freeze dried greens powder (very limited; more coming).
We sincerely appreciate your support,
-Westcliffe Greens LLC
DIRECT FARM PICK-UP ORDERING [STOCK POSTED ~3PM, FRIDAY]
You can always read the big red alert symbol on the “Shop” page for real-time updates; or at least as fast as our Company can multi-task: Current pick-up times:
SUNDAY, 11 AM – 1 PM
MONDAY 11 AM- 1 PM
*If possible, indicating your anticipated pick-up day in the order notes box on the checkout page of our website is helpful for us. Pick-Up Location: 101 Ridgeline Dr., Westcliffe. (The long warehouse-looking building on the north side of Ridgeline Dr. One block north of Valley Ace). You can recognize us via the long solar array out in front of our building.
Farm News
| We have a very long day still, so we’ll keep this short. First, apologies for the delay (usually we aim to send out our e-mail newsletters on Wednesdays.Fortunately, after an absurd phone malfunction (hence this newsletter being sent Thursday, not Wednesday), we were able to (after hours and hours of wasted time), re-access Our phone. Which, as you may know, is very very important for “2 Factor Authentication.” to log on to, you know, Business things. But good news! We’re upping the Factors. 3 Fact OR, 4 Fact OR, maybe even 5+ Fact-ORs…or more: all for free. And will be available on Our own web server, in time. All original, hopefully valuable content, from Westcliffe Greens LLC. Quick updates: 1) Duplicating our e-mail newsletter on our own server, plus more content. Slight delay until we program a simulacrum; it’ll be up later though. 2) Integrating our HOT TIPS DEPT. content onto our own server, so it is available on Facebook and our server. This takes a lot of work. But it is making progress. See below for a prior e-mail newsletter copy/paste about our HOT TIPS DEPT. (current edition: avoiding financial grifting, so you don’t get scammed). All for FREE, because we like our customers. And we don’t like scammers. Or grifters. Or morally egregious shape-shifters. 3) We’re considering a merger between our HOT TIPS DEPT. and our Westcliffe Greens Mystery School (only our long-form readers may recall this secret link/school. Apologies, only one episode was released, as a result of medical problems that put a bit of a pointy dagger-esque Pythagorean mess of a pyre-amid-apex in that a^2+b^2=c^2 project.) Updates to come. 4) We’ve got a full Team dedicated to planning out optimal market + direct farm pick-up times. Updates, if needed, will be announced. 5) As you can see in a picture above, we have much transplantation to do of lil’ lettuces (that’s almost 300 heads); following transplantation of other greens yesterday night. 6) We have lot’s of work. Back to it. Thanks all, -Westcliffe Greens LLC HOT TIPS COPY/PASTE FROM A PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER: Should you be unaware of our “Hot Tips Department,” the content of which is only provided on our Facebook page, as of now, we’re still going to continue to provide useful information from our Beta-test rollout of “Hot Tip” content, from said Department, in a theme structure. However, we do not “purchase” or “buy” data about our customers or subscribers, and are thus unsure of the overlap between our e-mail newsletter subscribers and our Facebook subscribers. Thus, if unaware, we will simply say: Our Hot Tips Department provides verifiable, useful information and attempts to incorporate jokes and sarcasm for entertainment value as well. Our current theme involves “avoiding financial gifting” in the modern era, to ensure our customers are not the victims of swindling, deception, or sophisticated modern “confidence jobs.” However, we anticipate a near future theme related more proximal to our core Business purpose: nutrition, health, food, etc., providing behind the scenes info and tips that one may not be aware of. As we actually do value choice, diversity in all forms, and free optionality, at Westcliffe Greens LLC: We are working to provide such content both on Facebook and our own website, should you have a preference either way. Stay tuned for updates, if interested. |
| Additional Online Ordering Info: To use our online ordering system, simply go to our online store (or head to westcliffegreens.com and click “Shop”), and you can see what we have available. Then, after placing an order, just stop by our location at any of the listed pick-up times (see above), and we’ll come out to bring your order. Even if you don’t see anyone else outside, we’ll see you– so don’t hesitate to just pull up. Think: Curb-side service. As you’ll see at the checkout page, you’re welcome to either pre-pay via card or other method (e.g., Apple Pay), or select the “Cash at Pickup” option to pay with cash/check/etc. when you arrive. E-mail us with any questions (chris@westcliffegreens.com)! |
Sat., June 8, 2024:
Thank you to all who came out to the Westcliffe Farmers Market this week! We really do appreciate it.
We have a limited stock of lettuce and more greens that we saved for online orders this weekend, and will be posted to our website store shortly, if interested. Similarly, we will harvest more on demand, if there is a demand. Check back to our online store by approximately 9 AM or any time after, today (Saturday), if interested, for SUNDAY OR MONDAY PICK-UP (11 AM – 1 PM)! If not familiar with our online ordering system, just send us an e-mail via our contact page (note: read the contact page update: very important).
Apologies for the less that usual supply. We’re behind on our anticipated “greens growing upgrade” schedule for various reasons, but are making progress.
Pictures on this post are from today (8AM approx.). As you can see we’ll have lettuce (mixes and heads), mizuna, purple mustard greens, a limited amount of arugula, and should have more microgreens. We also have lots of transplanting and seeding to do in the mean time (i.e., today).
Our Bok Choi is also beginning to come into it’s own; it grows quick.
Thanks!
-Westcliffe Greens LLC
Welcome (June 6, 2024)! Thank you for clicking this link! Updates will be formatted better in the future.
Short Version:
We are planning on attending the Westcliffe Farmers Market (Friday, 9 AM – 1 PM). We will be limited in stock, but have already harvested, as of moments ago: Green leaf lettuce heads, Green Romaine lettuce heads, lettuce mix, and a small amount of mizuna, purple mustard greens, and perhaps more. Pending a failure, we will also have limited amount of purple radish microgreens in the morning to harvest prior to the Farmers Market. More of everything is growing. More information is on our Facebook page (which we are in the laborious process of duplicating to our own server, so you have options).
Longer Version:
Thank you for clicking this link. We are utilizing this page as a “stop-gap,” as not only has “Meta Products Inc.” (AKA “Facebook [insert: subsidiary Inc.’s and LLC’s],” their subsidiaries, along with “MailChimp” (a subsidiary of Intuit, Inc. whom also owns TurboTax, who relaxes your taxes, making life easy in the 21`st century. And all the morose-so: convenient, especially for small businesses who just want to grow leafy greens. As we all know, this is basic knowledge).
Unfortunately, after many wasted hours (e.g., amongst other things; uploading a 200 kilobyte photo in a classic .jpg file format of fresh greens): overcomplexified, terrible programming/ers [maybe they should get hooked on fawn-(ewe)nix, given the lack of grammar: clearly not Pro!), apparently by companies hiring beta-testers who don’t understand an “OR,” “XOR” “OR” “NOT” [“MOV, EAX 0; JMP EAX”].
We like options. x86/ARM64 Arch the Tech-Sure. As We, at our Company want to! And in fact do. For your own FOR{0}(FOR{NULL}) choose-your-own-FORTRAN adventurerrrrrror. Choose you own! (That’s a funny computer joke. We, at Westcliffe Greens LLC, like it; so sorry if you don’t).
We are in the labyrinthine process of duplicating our Westcliffe Greens LLC produced content from other platforms to our- what will be- ultimately- our own servers. However, this takes time.
THUS:
We are attaching, to our own server, some of our premium green pictures. Available tomorrow. And we are working on upgrading, and also having the options of online ordering, should you be unavailable for the market season day/times. We won’t be spamming our e-mail newsletter, but will update here and/or find more ways for our information dissemination.
Thank you,
–Westcliffe Greens LLC
PS: Sorry, but our 13 and 6 second video clips of greens are currently only available and ‘owned’ (as per the the “Terms of Service” agreement) by Meta Products Inc. (here) (content fully produced by Westcliffe Greens LLC on an old iPhone). But we don’t have the time to upload them now.
